Cannibalism

Food – everyone’s favorite topic. And the one thing that we all dread is not having any. Especially us Americans who are used to having three meals a day, each larger than the total daily intake of most of the world’s population. And food shortages are a certain post-crash condition, at least at first, and will largely characterize the crash itself. We have seen situations in which food has been unavailable for extended periods of time before, and in such situations most people starve to death. However, a sizable minority will turn to the only remaining convenient food supply: the disoriented, wandering masses of former civilization.

The best way to prepare for a predicted food shortage is to learn how to obtain food on your own. In other words, make sure you know a dozen or so common wild edibles you know you can identify. Learn dandelions, clover, wood sorrel, burdock, pine, spice root, sassafras, stinging nettle, figs, apples, blue berries, mint, and any others you can. You certainly won’t starve to death, and wild edibles are in fact very tasty and far more flavorful than what most people are used to. In the mean time, it will help keep your strength up so you can avoid the roving gangs of cannibals.

Cannibalism itself is a very dangerous practice. You, as a human, are susceptible to any disease your human prey has. On the other hand, eating other species is far safer because most of their illnesses will not affect a human being. There is also a general tendency for cannibalism to make you more sickly. Cannibalism is not a long term solution for various reasons, including the lack of new input and the inherent distrust it will engender internal to the cannibal-gang. In the short term, it is inefficient and will leave you sick and lacking in several major nutrients. Not to mention the probable nausea the first time you try it. Besides, you are what you eat, and I would rather be an overweight house cat than a starving accountant who hasn’t bathed in a week.

It would be far better for you to develop a working knowledge of wild edibles, a round dozen should do it. For instance, raspberries, cattails, onion, garlic mustard, poke weed, walnuts, cherries, pears, almonds, grapes, sugar maple, and plantain are all excellent examples of commonly available wild edibles. Although some wild edibles require a little preparation and a knowledge of when and how to eat them.

However, if you must eat humans, any recipe good for a pig should work wonderfully.

-Benjamin Shender

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