Nemoism

There has always been a lot of dissension between primitivists, anarchists, survivalists, Ishmaelites, etc over the perceived bastardization of their causes. Basically, everyone is sick and tired of being confused with everyone else.

One of the main problems is that all of these groups have different levels and most carry a lot of baggage some people would rather avoid.

Primitivism may mean anything from refusing to use anything invented after 10,000 BCE, to believing indigenous people live in a better way than we do, to believing that abstract thought is evil.

Anarchism can mean anything from wearing black trenchcoats and cursing at people who couldn’t care less about your rebellion to blowing up powerplants and everything in between. Many so-called anarchists are more interested in chaos than in anarchy.

Survivalism could be the hard-core guy living alone in a cave. He could also be the guy who makes sure he always looks both ways before crossing the street. Some have bunkers full of rice. Others make sure they have a knife and cigarette lighter.

Ishmaelites can simply think some of Quinn’s ideas are good or they may think Quinn is the second-coming and anything anyone else says must be wrong.

In response, many people simply refuse to categorize themselves. This can work, except that it makes communication very confusing and you always sound very self-important claiming that you are so unbelievably cool and unique that there is no word that can describe you.

People who do this usually end up coming across as either so arrogant that it causes physical pain in nearby plant life, or a lot like a ditzy valley girl claiming she’s “spiritual” or a “wytch.”

So, here we come. Luckily, we’re so unbelievably cool and unique that we can solve this problem. From now on primitivanarchisurivialishmaelites will called Nemoists. Nemoists support sustainability, living with the land instead of against it, community, and not dying. Nemoist comes at the conclusion of a long selection process that we spent all afternoon on. Terraism came in at a close second. But the CIA insisted we change it. Other contenders included scientism, naturism, wearerightism, communism, and Bob.

This takes effect immediately.

-The Management
  Benjamin Shender
  Miranda Vivian

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6 Comments

  1. Valnurana said,

    January 7, 2007 at 7:41 pm

    I know I probably shouldn’t ask this, but does this mean we all have to wear orange and white stripes or is it a reference to our need to just keep swimming…

  2. Aftermath said,

    January 7, 2007 at 7:53 pm

    Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming, swimming, swimming. What do we do? We swim, swim.

    – Miranda Vivian

  3. JCamasto said,

    January 9, 2007 at 8:30 pm

    I miss your clarity & sense of humor, Ben.

  4. Urban Scout said,

    January 9, 2007 at 9:08 pm

    “Whych.” Haha. I’d never heard that one before.

  5. Aftermath said,

    January 10, 2007 at 12:16 am

    Yep, wytch. Very new age-y I am assuming, but popping up more and more from what I’ve seen around. Just another word for witch, sort of reminds me of the spelling “womyn.”

    – Miranda Vivian

  6. Galen said,

    April 24, 2007 at 6:32 pm

    Doesn’t ‘Nemo’ refer to the central character in Verne’s “20000 Leagues Under the Sea”? Wasn’t he a Hindu prince whose family had been murdered by English soldiers for opposing the Raj system of government? And hahdn’t he turned to high tech piracy to destroy the very Empire that had killed his family, thereby becoming just as destructive as his persecutors?
    Why should those of us who have chosen to heed the warnings of climate change, peak oil, and overpopulation choose to identify with a man who had turned to the very technology that had destroyed his world?
    We do not need to be known as anything, except perhaps a bit more perceptive that our fellows.

    Peace.


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